I'm Sorry That I Didn't Catch Myself From Falling

I'm sorry. God, I know it hurts. Because they did close to the same thing to me. I know that your heart breaks when you think about it and I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could write you a book of poems, that fill your head with beauty. I wish I could shower you in fire, so that the sickness that I'm sure it brings you could be washed away. I wish I could hug you so tight, and squeeze every last drop of pain from your body. Please understand that I didn't do this to hurt you, I didn't do this to prove a point or get even, I just fell and there he was, ready to pull me from the ground. Please don't ask me to give him up. I know myself well enough to understand that I wouldn't be able to, he's bringing me the happiness that I was sure had abandoned me so long ago. Please don't ask me to let him go, because I want to stand here and let my fingers become intertwined with his, I'm not sure if I could unbind the metal fuse the keeps our palms touching. Please don't cry, because I see the hurt that I'm causing so many, and my heart breaks. Let him heal me, let him patch together the cracks that run down my spine. Let me heal him, let me mend the tears that etch across his soul. Please. It's all so premature, so please, let me sow the seeds that I've kept in my pocket for so long, and see if they will reap anything at all. I promise to take good care of him. I promise to make sure he gets enough sleep. I promise to make sure he eats. I promise to fuss about him. I promise to get him to smile more and to take more pictures without shooting a bird. I promise that these days will be filled with laughter and contentment. I promise to bring peace to him. I promise that he'll be happy. Please, let me do these things. Please, let me hold his hand, let me stare at him in fading light, let me catch him when he stumbles over air, let me cut eyes at him, let me laugh with him, let me be more than enough for him, let me take care of him. If we decide to split paths, I promise to let him go in better condition than I found him. I'm so sorry. Just please, let us be all there can be, completely unrequited.